As a daughter of a Black single mother, my inheritance is a wealthy streamline of survival tactics: shelters, government programming, and churches. God or government. Who knows the differences...
Thank you sooo much for sharing this part of your journey. I am a mom of a two year old. I left my husband overseas last year because things were going down a scary path and I felt like we needed distance to sort ourselves out.
I came back to the US homeless and stayed with my mother and then my sister. I was able to get a beautiful apartment, a car, and two flexible jobs. I am currently using foodstamps and on medicaid as well.
Sometimes you can feel so ashamed for getting gov't assistance. The cycle of poverty and co-dependence it keeps you in. I stay optimistic through it all.
Thank you for sharing. You are not alone. I see you and feel you💜.
Oh wow! The resilience here. I love a good comeback story. I think moms have so much shame already especially in America. I think you nailed it by saying the key is optimism. I appreciate your kind words ❤️
It pains me that my adult son has to use government assistance because of disability. He can work, but can’t manage to stay employed.
I could rescue him more than I already do, but I think that will cripple him for life. It would stop him from the possibility of finding his own way. It is a painful journey. People shame me when I send him groceries.
And then, the more I do, the more he asks for and expects. It’s a painful journey.
Hi Karen! Wow thank you for sharing - I found guilt in receiving assistance and knowing people like your son needed it. I have a lot of feelings about government assistance but I did my best to approach the topic with grace and understanding. It truly is a painful journey!
I was on Medicaid for the first part of my pregnancy in New York, and the way they make it humiliating... I hate it. I also had Medicaid for my son after I left his father and my ex was laid off. And apparently, my own teenage mom's pregnancy care was paid for by the state, and we were on food stamps when my mother was in graduate school. Her story is in some ways an example of what assistance can be-- the support a single mother needs to get to the next step. But this was also the '70s/'80s, when housing was cheaper, groceries and gas were cheaper. We had access to good public schooling. And in our case, white privilege was at play, as well.
It's my dream that we could set up our society in such a way that mothers and children wouldn't bear the stress and humiliation baked into seeking assistance. That women in abusive situations could leave and have support. Nothing has radicalized me quite like becoming a mother (and then a single mother). Except that now, of course, I lack the funds and energy to do much rabblerousing/activism around this. I can write, though ... I've tried to write about this, and I should do more when I can. I don't think we should have to figure this out alone. I support women sharing their stories and strategies. I support us in banding together and calling for a version of American culture that doesn't punish women, mothers, and children.
Thank you for writing this. I've been simmering on a similar topic. My family has been addicted, poor, and depressed for generations that go all the way back to our Choctaw lineage. I've never had the privilege of thinking my government was for me. I have had to depend on government assistance many times in my life, but it was always difficult to get, difficult to use, and rarely met the need. Ultimately, I have found that God works through people, and it has been through the kindness of many that I have been able to break out of bondage. A high school counselor who gave me pamphlets about abuse and neglect. A youth pastor who encouraged me to consider college. A college financial aid advisor who listed me as an independent so that I could get a free ride that included room and board. A couple who gave me a used car so I could get to work. The list goes on and on.
My husband had gotten laid off and a week later we found out I was pregnant. We were on unemployment and Medicaid for my entire pregnancy. Once he got a new job it was a bit of a set back financially but better then having no job. We were grateful for Medicaid because my son ended up coming early by 2 months and we didn’t have to pay the hospital bill because our new insurance and Medicaid covered it. That experience was a wake up call and we’ve been super diligent with our finances ever since the birth of our child
Thank you sooo much for sharing this part of your journey. I am a mom of a two year old. I left my husband overseas last year because things were going down a scary path and I felt like we needed distance to sort ourselves out.
I came back to the US homeless and stayed with my mother and then my sister. I was able to get a beautiful apartment, a car, and two flexible jobs. I am currently using foodstamps and on medicaid as well.
Sometimes you can feel so ashamed for getting gov't assistance. The cycle of poverty and co-dependence it keeps you in. I stay optimistic through it all.
Thank you for sharing. You are not alone. I see you and feel you💜.
Oh wow! The resilience here. I love a good comeback story. I think moms have so much shame already especially in America. I think you nailed it by saying the key is optimism. I appreciate your kind words ❤️
It pains me that my adult son has to use government assistance because of disability. He can work, but can’t manage to stay employed.
I could rescue him more than I already do, but I think that will cripple him for life. It would stop him from the possibility of finding his own way. It is a painful journey. People shame me when I send him groceries.
And then, the more I do, the more he asks for and expects. It’s a painful journey.
Hi Karen! Wow thank you for sharing - I found guilt in receiving assistance and knowing people like your son needed it. I have a lot of feelings about government assistance but I did my best to approach the topic with grace and understanding. It truly is a painful journey!
I was on Medicaid for the first part of my pregnancy in New York, and the way they make it humiliating... I hate it. I also had Medicaid for my son after I left his father and my ex was laid off. And apparently, my own teenage mom's pregnancy care was paid for by the state, and we were on food stamps when my mother was in graduate school. Her story is in some ways an example of what assistance can be-- the support a single mother needs to get to the next step. But this was also the '70s/'80s, when housing was cheaper, groceries and gas were cheaper. We had access to good public schooling. And in our case, white privilege was at play, as well.
It's my dream that we could set up our society in such a way that mothers and children wouldn't bear the stress and humiliation baked into seeking assistance. That women in abusive situations could leave and have support. Nothing has radicalized me quite like becoming a mother (and then a single mother). Except that now, of course, I lack the funds and energy to do much rabblerousing/activism around this. I can write, though ... I've tried to write about this, and I should do more when I can. I don't think we should have to figure this out alone. I support women sharing their stories and strategies. I support us in banding together and calling for a version of American culture that doesn't punish women, mothers, and children.
Thank you for writing this. I've been simmering on a similar topic. My family has been addicted, poor, and depressed for generations that go all the way back to our Choctaw lineage. I've never had the privilege of thinking my government was for me. I have had to depend on government assistance many times in my life, but it was always difficult to get, difficult to use, and rarely met the need. Ultimately, I have found that God works through people, and it has been through the kindness of many that I have been able to break out of bondage. A high school counselor who gave me pamphlets about abuse and neglect. A youth pastor who encouraged me to consider college. A college financial aid advisor who listed me as an independent so that I could get a free ride that included room and board. A couple who gave me a used car so I could get to work. The list goes on and on.
My husband had gotten laid off and a week later we found out I was pregnant. We were on unemployment and Medicaid for my entire pregnancy. Once he got a new job it was a bit of a set back financially but better then having no job. We were grateful for Medicaid because my son ended up coming early by 2 months and we didn’t have to pay the hospital bill because our new insurance and Medicaid covered it. That experience was a wake up call and we’ve been super diligent with our finances ever since the birth of our child