I learned to say “no” to disrespectful authority when I was 13 and in church. But emotional trauma stopped me from saying “no” and aided me to becoming a people pleaser. This kept me “safe” and “keep” love from friends or partners. Took me until I was 31 to learn how to truly say “no” and be loved truly for who I am.
"IF I DON’T LEARN TO SAY “NO” NOW, IT WILL NEVER COME. AND STILL, SHE CHALLENGES ME, THE SAME WAY THE MEN OF MY PAST DID. SHE WAITS, HER EYES LINGERING IN THE POOLS OF MY OWN UNTIL I SINK AND GIVE HER MY SURRENDER."
Wow. I resonated with this post to my core. This part specifically brought tears to my eyes. Something in it triggered an emotional response within me. Most likely the part that says, she challenges me, the same way the men of my past did. This thought has crossed my mind many times before. Formulating and keeping boundaries is a daily practice. Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing this. I needed to hear it today.
So much of what you said is correct when it comes to the fact that as moms we still have to define boundaries. It’s interesting here that I compared the two (past manipulations and those of my toddler). She’s innocent of course, and those experiences were different but yes—still so triggering. I think it’s these moments that brings new levels of healing from the past. The realization that I can’t be shaken this time around.
I learned to say “no” to disrespectful authority when I was 13 and in church. But emotional trauma stopped me from saying “no” and aided me to becoming a people pleaser. This kept me “safe” and “keep” love from friends or partners. Took me until I was 31 to learn how to truly say “no” and be loved truly for who I am.
"IF I DON’T LEARN TO SAY “NO” NOW, IT WILL NEVER COME. AND STILL, SHE CHALLENGES ME, THE SAME WAY THE MEN OF MY PAST DID. SHE WAITS, HER EYES LINGERING IN THE POOLS OF MY OWN UNTIL I SINK AND GIVE HER MY SURRENDER."
Wow. I resonated with this post to my core. This part specifically brought tears to my eyes. Something in it triggered an emotional response within me. Most likely the part that says, she challenges me, the same way the men of my past did. This thought has crossed my mind many times before. Formulating and keeping boundaries is a daily practice. Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing this. I needed to hear it today.
So much of what you said is correct when it comes to the fact that as moms we still have to define boundaries. It’s interesting here that I compared the two (past manipulations and those of my toddler). She’s innocent of course, and those experiences were different but yes—still so triggering. I think it’s these moments that brings new levels of healing from the past. The realization that I can’t be shaken this time around.